Holiday Blues: How Nurturing Your Inner Child can Help You Cope
The holidays can be tough for a lot of adults, if you are experiencing holiday blues you are not alone. When the memories of childhood holidays (or lack thereof) turn into the ghost of Christmas past the holiday season can sometimes take a heavy air. Whether you are grieving the loss of loved ones, happy memories, or still aching for the lack of unity in your household as you were growing up, taking some time to acknowledge your inner child and their feelings can help relieve some of those holiday blues.
Holiday memories can be bittersweet or sometimes just plain bitter! Especially, when we are constantly flooded with marketing (in social media, commercials, stores, shows we stream) on how warm and fuzzy we are supposed to feel during the holiday season. It can be overwhelming and overstimulating to our minds. Not only does this set us up with high expectations of how we should act and feel but it also puts us in a position to compare ourselves to these images and standards in mainstream media. While some of these holiday messages may be a sweet reminder of happy memories others might be a cruel reminder of what we have lost, what we never had, or the freedoms that were taken away from us.
Explore what your feelings are rooted in
If you are experiencing holiday blues take a moment to reflect on where your feelings are coming from. A lot of the time we cope by pushing our feelings away. Instead create a space for yourself where you feel safe. Maybe put on some soft music in the background, light a candle, and bring out a journal. Set a 5 minute timer and write what you are feeling, let your thoughts free flow. It’s ok to be raw and unfiltered, this is for your eyes only.
After you are done writing, take a few deep breaths, drink some water, and give yourself some kind words. “I am loved, I am brave, I am figuring things out.” (You can do this part before and after, as well).
What feelings did you notice come to the surface during your writing process? Anger? Sadness? Resentment? Frustration? Inadequacy? Grief?
Acknowledge your feelings
If you didn’t do this naturally as part of your writing process, give yourself time to acknowledge and validate your feelings. Continue your writing reflection with the sentiment of giving yourself love and kindness. You are allowed to feel angry or frustrated. Taking the time to notice your feelings and sit with those feelings also opens up an opportunity to release those feelings from your mind and your body.
Nurture your Inner Child
Now it’s time for self-care! Identify a few things that you miss from childhood or missed out on growing up during the holidays. How can you recreate these experiences? Maybe you miss baking cookies with your family or sitting around the table talking and drinking a warm beverage. Consider reaching out to your current family or friends to spend time together and create community. If you do not have friends or loved ones nearby, create a lively atmosphere for yourself. Put on some music, pick up a puzzle or coloring book, and have a comforting snack. Regardless of what you choose to do, the key is incorporating things that your inner child misses or wishes they had the opportunity to experience. You are never too young to ________(fill in the blank).
If you are having trouble coming up with ideas try brainstorming by searching for holiday craft activities. Arts and crafts are a great way to nurture your inner child and express yourself creatively. Allowing yourself a creative outlet can be therapeutic. If you feel overwhelmed by distressing feelings through this process please seek out help from a professional. While many people may experience Holiday Blues, feeling depressed or isolating is not healthy for your wellbeing and sometimes having the guidance from a mental health professional can help you properly process and relieve your feelings.
