Anxiety and The Four Agreements
By Julieta Rubio Hobbs
“I want to be better.” “I want to be the best I can.”
There are so many books on self-improvement and self-help out there but sometimes the more you read the more we get lost in that rabbit hole. There are a handful of books that I revisit on a regular basis. From all the text books and self-help books I have read, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz was a life changing or perspective changing experience, if you will. This book takes on a perspective that is non traditional to the European or American ways of thinking. The author shares a perspective that is more inline with eastern philosophies versus western philosophy.
In western philosophy we often are taught and told to look inward to our internal locus of control; however, when we visit eastern or indigenous philosophies there is an external locus or looking outward that is presented. In addition to internal versus external locus of control another big difference between western philosophies and eastern or indigenous philosophies is individualism versus collectivism.
What is western philosophy when it comes to psychology or counseling?
Western philosophies are rooted in European (and American) values and beliefs. For example, in psychology theories Freud would be a western philosophy or western school of thought.
What are eastern or indigenous philosophies in psychology and counseling?
Eastern philosophies are what people think of when they think of new age or alternative theories. For example, this is more holistic approaches like acupuncture and meditation. Eastern philosophies and indigenous philosophies have a lot of commonalities in values and beliefs. An example of this, is in our culture, both Latinx indigenous people and Asian Americans value family and navigate through a collectivist lens. Below you’ll find a table that breaks down some of the differences between eastern and western schools of thought.
The Latinx culture is traditionally collectivistic, we are grounded in family and community. Our values and beliefs are guided by being caring and respectful to our loved ones. And our meaning of family extends past the nucleus. Having this awareness of how we perceive the world based on our cultural roots is important in understanding how we make sense of the world and how the world impacts our wellbeing.
Finding a mental health approach that aligns with your cultural values and beliefs is important. As a Latinx therapist, it is not uncommon to see a connection between client’s anxiety and their family and relationship issues.
Western Psychology
Individualistic
Internal locus
Direct communication
Eastern Psychology (and indigenous philosophies)
Collectivistic
External locus
Indirect Communication
I have found that our ancestral (indigenous) wisdom honors our collectivist roots while offering a way to find balance and freedom in our life perspective. For example, a common issue I have seen in Latinx values is being off balance on the importance of family. Sometimes this is to the detriment of our own needs. However, indigenous wisdom guides us to find balance in having permission to take care of ourselves while still loving and supporting our loved ones. The Four Agreements introduces the idea that we are all creating our dreams even while in a waking state. Furthermore, the author discusses that we create dreams together and as a society.
This idea lends itself to remind us that other people’s thoughts and actions are separate from us and while sometimes we can choose to be part of them, or we can also choose to make our own. We can buy into the dreams or beliefs that other people have or we can create our own dreams and beliefs.
As we delve deeper into The Four Agreements, the author also talks about not taking things personally. With anxiety it can be easy to get caught up in what others are thinking. But with this idea that we create our reality, The Four Agreements gives us permission to think outside of the box. To think outside of taking things personally. And to acknowledge that this is someone else’s reality and it by no means makes it our reality unless we make that choice.
