4 Activities to Build Self Esteem
What is self esteem? And what factors play a role in self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the level at which you regard yourself. Our self-esteem can fluctuate between low and high based on external and internal factors. For example, if we receive a compliment from someone else we might feel a boost in our self esteem and feel good about ourselves. We are adhering to our self esteem based on this external measurement of self-worth. On the other hand, with low self esteem being contributed by an internal factor you might score well on a test but feel down on yourself because you did not receive a 100% score. In this scenario, our internal dialogue might be playing a role in lowering our self esteem. The good news about boosting your self esteem is that there are several different ways to achieve this, it is a matter of finding what works best for you.
What does low self esteem look like?
You might not feel like you are good enough or be hard on yourself for not performing at the level you expected for yourself in life. This can go beyond our earlier example of test taking, it might show up in your work performance, in your relationships, and in your day to day routines. You might find that you are upset at yourself (verbally beating yourself up) for not waking up earlier because “if only I had not snoozed my alarm I would have made it to work on time”. Or you might find yourself “shoulding” a lot when things don’t go as planned.
The thing is, sometimes those shoulds and ifs start turning into negative comments to yourself. And what do we know about negative comments? For every negative comment you need 5.6 positive comments to outweigh the negative one. This ratio is true in the workplace and in couples relationships. Imagine what that negative self criticism is doing to the relationships you have with yourself? So how can we change this negative pattern and start building a higher self esteem?
Four activities to build your self esteem:
1. Self love affirmation
A self love affirmation is a positive phrase that reminds you and encourages you of a new thought or belief you are embracing. For example, “I am enough” or “I am beautiful inside and out”.
2. Self love meditations
A guided meditation on self love can help slow down the negative thoughts and reach you to focus on being present with yourself and your body. If you are struggling with embracing the positive self love affirmations, starting with meditations on self love can help you explore this new mindset at a slower pace.
3. Challenging negative thoughts
As you explore a shift towards self love you might find that negative thoughts are fueling the inner dialogue with yourself. You can change the way you think about yourself by becoming aware of your negative thought patterns, challenging them with evidence, and replacing them with positive thoughts.
4. Acts of self love
Putting a new mindset into action can also be started with your actions or behaviors. Start by doing kind things for yourself. This could be taking yourself out on a picnic or practicing self love with a skin care routine. Oftentimes we leave our needs for last when we are in need of more self love. Practice putting yourself first by doing things for yourself you might plan for a loved one.
If anxiety and overthinking are getting the best of you as you try to implement these activities consider getting some additional support with therapy for stress.
